“I’d like to welcome all of you—relatives, friends, and co-workers of the deceased—to this celebration of life.  So glad you could be with us today!  I think we’re all familiar with the etiquette for these occasions, but out of an abundance of caution, here are a few gentle reminders of socially acceptable conduct.

This is a very special time in which we consent together to avoid mention of anything that may remind us of the honoree’s moral shortcomings and ethical failings—the better to focus on what we, as equally flawed people, consider to have been the “good” things he said or did among us.

This not only distracts us from the reality of death, but enables us to leave this memorial brimming with rosy sentimentality, rather than the grief and horror that might otherwise overwhelm us, were we to admit the dearly departed’s true spiritual condition and face facts about its terrible consequences.  Fortunately for us all, THAT will not be happening.

Kindly refrain from all references to the dead person’s character deficits (unless of course, you are making a joke or sharing a humorous recollection about him). Do not, under any circumstances, mention his dodgy behavior or wasted potential.  This includes both wrongs committed and failures to say or do what he ought to have said or done.

Avoid the use of morbid terms like “death,” “passing away,” “funeral,” and the like.  Any slip, any accidental mention, awakens the mind to the permanence of what has transpired and is therefore inappropriate.

This next point is extremely important.  WATCH facial expressions and body language!  The whole attitude should be light, casual, even whimsical.  Displays of negative emotions like sadness, sorrow, guilt or regret are in poor taste.  Gay smiles and wry winks are encouraged.

Staging is essential, as feelings are often stimulated by visual and auditory cues.  That’s why the family has chosen to display a large, cheerful photo of their loved one front and center, surrounded by flowers and a bright balloon or two.  The picture (and the video to be shown in a few minutes) not only convey genuine affection, but subtly suggest that the departed is still with us, somehow conscious of what’s taking place and nodding his approval.

The soft, upbeat music that you hear helps set the proper tone and lifts the general mood. Familiar tunes carefully selected for their nostalgic quality, can have a soothing, tranquilizing effect.  Please be mindful—outbursts of any kind, crying, sniffling and the like—disturb the ambiance we have labored to create and for this reason can only be seen as selfish and inconsiderate.

Next, we come to the core of the program, the “toast-imonials” as I Like to call them.  These shallow, often embarrassing tributes more closely resemble a wedding toast than a eulogy and are especially appreciated by the escapists in attendance, for their tendency to make unserious persons laugh.  This laughter is ideal for obscuring the true reason for the whole exercise.

As to the timing of today’s ceremonies, it’s true that schedule conflicts, illnesses and even non-refundable cruise tickets have considerably delayed our “celebration of life.”  I would hasten to point out however, that a healthy gap between death and the marking of the sad event has the distinct advantage of blunting the intensity of feelings that arise in the initial aftermath of tragedy and, dull the raw edge of separation.  With luck, time will have worked its magic to such a degree that reawakened awareness of one’s own mortality and its troubling implications is no longer a serious risk.

Please note that phraseology such as, “our thoughts and prayers are with you” is problematic.  Many if not most of those who utter it, don’t pray with any kind of faith or regularity, and some are actually atheists.  The “prayers” of an atheist, even if actually said, are, for obvious reasons, of no use whatever.  Equally, comforting thoughts are of no practical value unless acted upon or at the very least, described to the bereaved.

In any event, it is best to leave God out of the mix entirely, lest someone take offense or religious types try to co-opt the occasion as an excuse to proselytize.  Besides, raising ‘the God issue’ may cause some to be confronted from within with uncomfortable questions, doubts and confusion regarding life, death and the afterlife (if any).  Needless to say, such reflection is not desirable at a celebration of life.  With these safeguards in mind, let’s get this party started!”

Thankfully, the foregoing scene is fictional, not overheard next door at some public venue.  But it may as well have been.  I’ve attended some of these affairs and couldn’t help feeling that their overriding purpose was to make folks feel good about something that for far too many, is really, really bad.  That isn’t just dishonest, it’s wicked.

Regardless of what the world would have you believe, physical death is not the ultimate tragedy that can befall a human being.  Death without having received Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior is.  For the Christian, “…to live is Christ, and to die is gain” (Philippians 1:21).  The Apostle Paul, the same man who wrote those words, also wrote of “having a desire to depart, and to be with Christ; which is far better” (Philippians 1:23).

Paul knew that God’s people are born into this world that they might one day die and inherit that other world, the world on the opposite side of death’s door.  Those who are in Christ are also set free of the fear of death (Hebrews 2:15), because they know that it cannot separate them from the love of God, which is theirs in Christ Jesus:

“For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38-39).

They believe that because their sins were paid for in full by Christ, on the cross, God will forgive their sins and raise them from the dead, just as He raised Jesus:

“But if the Spirit of him that raised up Jesus from the dead dwell in you, he that raised up Christ from the dead shall also quicken your mortal bodies by his Spirit that dwelleth in you.” (Romans 8:11).

For the Christian, death does not end personal celebration of Christ’s life.  Rather, it begins a celebration of eternal life with Him—face-to-face!  That joy is real and lasting, not fake and momentary.   It is the product of faith in a God who saves by His grace.

Those who reject the pardon Jesus suffered and died to give them know no such thing, have no such assurance.  In fact, God’s wrath looms over them constantly: “He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life: and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of God abideth on him” (John 3:36).

When unbelievers’ days on earth are done, they will face God’s judgment, having cast aside His mercy and declined the mediation of Christ (I Timothy 2:5).   Having no Advocate with the Father (I John 2:1), they will stand before the great and dreadful God whose laws they have broken and whom they have called a liar, because they refused to accept His testimony concerning His Son (I John 5:10).  That, my friend, is nothing to celebrate.  It’s a destiny too awful for words: “It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God” (Hebrews 10:31).

The good news is, that this dark fate can be avoided, if only you will believe, repent of your sins and turn to Him in faith.  For without faith it is impossible to please God (Hebrews 11:6).  Let that sink in.  It is impossible to please God on any other basis than faith in the finished work of Christ on your behalf.

The moment that you confess Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord, this wonderful and thrilling promise applies to you forever after: “And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away” (Revelation 21:4).

When you place 100% of your faith and trust in Jesus, a joyous celebration erupts in heaven (Luke 15:7). Jesus Christ and His holy angels, as well as those who have gone on to heaven before us, stand ready to greet you.  Don’t keep them waiting any longer.  Come to Jesus.  Come now.  It’s time to get on with the celebration of your new, everlasting life!

HOW TO BE SAVED:

• Admit to God that you are a sinner (that you have not kept His moral law to perfection; in your thoughts, words, and actions you have done what His law forbids and have failed to do what His love demands).  This is seeing yourself from God’s point of view and agreeing that He is right about you.  Be as specific as you can.
• Believe in your heart that Jesus died for your sins and that God raised Him from the dead.
• Sincerely repent (turn away) from your sins, asking God to forgive you and to use His power to help you resist temptation, no matter how strong the pull of sin may be, at first.
• Acknowledge Jesus as the Lord of your life.  Invite Him to move into your heart and take up residence there, so that He can change you from the inside out.
• Trust His promise to save you and give you a new spiritual birth and a new nature (thoughts, desires, priorities, hopes, dreams, and character).

SOME KEY TRUTHS:

• “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.”  (Romans 3:23)
• “As it is written, there is none righteous, no, not one.”  (Romans 3:10)
• “For the wages of sin is death: but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.”  (Romans 6:23)
• “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”  (John 3:16)
• “But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”  (Romans 5:8)
• “For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures; And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures.”  (I Corinthians 15:3,4)
• “But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name.” (John 1:12)
• “Behold, I stand at the door and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him…”  (Revelation 3:20)
• “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”  (Romans 10:13)
• “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.  For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.”  (Romans 10:9-10)
• “Verily, verily, I say unto you; He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life; and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life.”  (John 5:24)
• “But these are written, that ye might believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God; and that believing, ye might have life through his name.”  (John 20:31) 
• “These things I have written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God.”  (I John 5:13)